


You've Got the Love

by littletheorist



Category: Matilda (1996), Matilda - Roald Dahl
Genre: Community: femmeslash, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Past Child Abuse, Period-Typical Homophobia, Post-Canon, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:00:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25974064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littletheorist/pseuds/littletheorist
Summary: Jennifer "Jenny" Honey had no idea what she was getting herself into when she found the perfect tutor for Matilda. All she knew was the tutor would be able to keep up with Matilda and smelled like burnt cedar in the rain.Jacqueline "Jack" Foxglove had no idea what she was getting into either when she signed up to tutor a brilliant kid with telekinetic abilities. It might have something to do with the woman with kind eyes and a scent of summer honeydew and winter clove.Title of the work comes from the cover of the same name by Florence + the Machine.
Relationships: Jennifer Honey/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 51
Kudos: 69





	1. A Year and a Half Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Each chapter title has a song associated with the theme of it, this one doesn't, but I think "Send Me on My Way" by Rusted Root is a good starting point since the film ended with it.

Jennifer “Jenny” Honey would never have thought that her life could change so drastically within the last year or so. Thanks to a precocious young girl who had the ability to move things with her mind, Jenny’s life had been given back to her fully. That’s not to say that she didn’t have her life to begin with. She achieved autonomy quite well in the little cottage house she lived in with the honeysuckle and wildflowers abloom along the gate. Granted, her aunt had not made that life easy as she managed to funnel almost all of her paychecks from the school into her own, leaving a meager weekly allowance for Jenny. She made what she could of her situation. She had taken to foraging in the woods behind her cottage when she didn’t have enough to manage, and was about to start her own vegetable garden behind the cottage when Matilda Wormwood came into her class and set everything into motion. 

Now...now everything wasn’t only different. It was _better_.

Her abusive aunt gone, Jenny got back the childhood treasure of her family home, the full amount of her paychecks along with a bonus added as she took over the position of principal of Crunchem Hall. She would have been happy to continue teaching first grade, but the rest of the teachers and students said she was the perfect fit for it. Recently, another building was added on to expand the school with a secondary school, since so many of the kids were distraught at the idea of having to leave Ms. Honey’s guidance and warmth. It was a lot of work, but the school as a whole was still smaller in comparison to the other standalone secondary school in the district. 

Since she also had guardianship of Matilda after her family fled to Guam, she wondered if she wasn’t possibly neglecting her duties with Matilda because of it. Matilda, of course, had always stated that she was perfectly happy, and that Jenny should do what makes her happy as well. Since she became the head of the school, she was able to bump Matilda up to fifth grade with Hortensia and Bruce. Now, as Matilda approaches sixth grade, Jenny wondered if she wasn’t getting the academic challenge she needed. She had tried to find a suitable tutor for Matilda, someone who could help her figure out what she might want to do for college, as it was definitely not too early for Matilda to think about that. Matilda would definitely thrive in a college setting, much as she had. 

However, every tutor she hired ended up stating the same thing: they had nothing more they could teach the girl. She tore through books and her analyses were always leagues ahead of what they did, even as undergraduates! That, or Matilda would become bored as some of the tutors would only teach one subject, and acted as if they knew everything about anything. Those tutors barely lasted a day, and Jenny had become better about knowing what to look out for when new prospects went through the vetting process. 

She needed someone who was just as enthusiastic as learning along with Matilda, especially if they didn’t already know the subject at hand. Someone who was willing to teach, but also learn from Matilda. Someone who understood and could appreciate her mind, much as she had on Matilda’s first day. 

“Ms. Honey?” Matilda asked, breaking her out of her thoughts, “Are we still going to the library today?”

It was Thursday, the day they took their weekly trip into town. They started to stop at the new coffee shop to stock up on teas (they had a wonderful selection of loose leaf that Jenny has been delighted by), as well as get drinks before making their way over to the library. On the way back, if they weren’t able to find a good haul of books that they carried back, they would stop in the small consignment shop and see what would catch their eye. A lot of the decor in Matilda’s room came from the shop, as when she moved in, she didn’t have much to bring outside of clothing and books. And while they were similar, Jenny wanted Matilda to feel like she had her own sense of style in the house.

“Yes, dear,” Jenny smiled at Matilda, “I’m sorry, I’m a bit lost in my thoughts today.”

“Trying to figure out how to find a new tutor?” Matilda asked, a knowing glint in her eye.

“Yes,” Jenny replied, sighing. “You seem to exceptionally wear them out, which I suppose would be considered an extraordinary thing, but…”

“You’re worried I’m not getting the challenge I need,” Matilda finished for her. “I’m okay. Maybe I got a little bored during class when we talked about Math or English, but otherwise, I still learned.”

“Yes, but it’s also something you are bound to find in a new book you haven’t read yet,” Jenny softly smiled at her.

“I would consider the book a secondary resource then!” Matilda gave a toothy grin, “Plus, you can only learn so much about something like art in a book. The art projects we do have always kept my interest.”

“I know, but I think we both know and agree that fifth grade was still considered a secondary resource for you,” Jenny laughed and shook her head, “I know there has to be _someone_ around here who can tutor you. I would, but—”

“But, since you took over the school, that would overload you,” Matilda again finished her sentence. It’s been a habit for her when they start to repeat conversations, but only because it was Matilda’s way of reassuring Jenny when she started to worry about possibly neglecting Matilda. “Ms. Honey, it’s fine, I promise. If we don’t find a tutor for me, then we’ll continue on like we have. If we do find one, that’s great, but I promise you, you are not neglecting me in the slightest.”

Jenny let Matilda’s words sink in and nodded, then fidgeted with the handkerchief at her wrist, “I guess I just worry that I’m not as good of a parent as I could be.”

“Do I need to remind you of who my birth parents are?” Matilda quirked an eyebrow. 

Jenny’s smile in response didn’t quite meet her eyes, “Just because your parents failed to meet the bare minimum for you does not excuse me.”

“I’m not going to hold it against you when you are trying,” Matilda urged. “Is this because I don’t call you Mom?”

They tried to make that step within a few months of her guardianship, but it was too weird. For Matilda, she still couldn’t get past the distaste the word left in her mouth due to her own experience of a mother. For Jenny, it was almost limiting. They both realized that she was more than just a mother figure for Matilda. She was maternal, of course, but their relationship was almost more akin to that of long lost siblings. However, calling her Jenny would have probably caused confusion at school, so Ms. Honey it was. 

“No, sweetheart, it’s not,” Jenny tucked some of Matilda’s hair behind her ear. “Come on, let’s head out.”

Matilda nodded and went to collect the books that were ready to go back, “Which poet are you going to check out next?”

“I think I’m going to go with Dickinson,” Jenny replied, shaking some of the stress of the tutor situation.

“ _Again_?” Matilda gawked, “What is this? The fourth time this year?”

Jenny laughed shyly, “It’s the third! And I enjoy reading her work.”

“Then why not buy a copy?” Matilda asked, “I have all of my favorite Dickens’ novels.”

“And yet I see that you have Great Expectations in that stack of books to be returned,” Jenny pointed. “Buying them new removes that wonderful sensation aged books have.”

Matilda watched as Jenny picked up a Dylan Thomas book, her choice of poet this week, from the top of the pile.

“There’s a certain magic in old books,” Jenny said quietly, almost more to the book than to Matilda, “the smell, the feel of pages and an old spine.”

“Library books are also not owned by anyone,” Matilda observed, “I can see why that can be nice. A bit of a mystery, yet solace to know that others have been moved by the words on those pages that you’re turning.”

Jenny smiled widely at Matilda’s words, “Exactly! I could always buy the books I would like to have, but why wait for them to age when I can get them from the library?”

Matilda nodded, “Maybe you could find them secondhand at the shop? 

“I’ve kept an eye out,” Jenny said, helping Matilda gather the books, “shall we?”

~*~

At the coffee shop Jenny ordered herself a chai latte and Matilda a hot cocoa. Even with the summer heat persisting into July, they got their drinks hot. According to a book on Biology Matilda had read before, getting cold drinks when it was hot made the body work harder to establish homeostasis.

As they were getting ready to leave, they bumped into an elderly man on the sidewalk. He wore overalls with a plaid shirt underneath and a straw hat, with coke-bottle glasses that sat in thick, black frames on the edge of his nose. His pale blue eyes widened when he saw Jenny.

“Jennifer Honey! My old tenant, how have you been?”

“Mr. Sorrel!” Jenny brought the man into a hug, “I’ve been well. How are you?”

“Well, the farmer’s market in town has been helpful in selling most of my summer harvest,” he shook a finger at Jenny, “I wanted to tell you though that the cottage has been through some changes. I know you loved living there as it was, but I got it set up with electricity now.”

“Oh, really?” Jenny’s eyebrows rose in surprise, “I hope it hasn’t changed too much.”

“No, just updated, but the tenant I’ve had there since the beginning of this summer has really taken to it,” he noticed Matilda then, “and who is this young lady?”

“This is Matilda,” Jenny settled an arm around Matilda’s shoulders, “she’s one of the students at my school as well as my adopted charge.”

“Really?” Mr. Sorrel’s eyes widened, but his smile widened, “Well, I’ll say you have been busy! Taking over Crunchem, moving back home, and a child on top of it all. You must have your hands full during the school year.”

“It has been a whirlwind,” Jenny nodded. “We are actually on our way to the library now. Matilda is incredibly bright for her age, and I’ve been trying to find her a tutor to help her prepare for thinking about what she might want to do in college.”

Mr. Sorrel took a gnarled hand and scratched at his chin, “Well, I might know of someone...Jacqueline Foxglove. I’ll ask and see if she would be willing to meet with you and talk about it.”

“Really?” Jenny asked, “Oh, Mr. Sorrel, that would be wonderful!” 

“She usually hangs out here at the coffee shop when she isn’t at home or on campus,” Mr. Sorrel explained. “She does write-ins for the local paper and magazines.”

“Really?” Matilda perked up, “What does she write about?”

“I’m not too sure, to be honest,” Mr. Sorrel replied. “She isn’t the most conversational until you get her talking about books.”

Matilda and Jenny both looked sideways at one another with a knowing look. 

“Well, we must definitely meet,” Jenny said. “Please let her know I am willing to come by the coffee shop to discuss the position when she is free.”

“I will, Jenny,” Mr. Sorrel gave them both a grin, “I best be off, but you two will have to come see the cottage soon!”

They said their goodbyes and moved on to the library. Jenny was buzzing with excitement. Matilda noticed the slight bounce in her step as they made their way into the library. 

“Well, that’s one less thing for you to worry about,” Matilda said as they walked through the stacks to the poetry section. 

“Hmm?” Jenny asked as she dragged a hand across the spines until she found Dickinson.

“You’re obviously happy at the thought that you might have found a tutor for me,” Matilda said, “that, and maybe because she’s in college, you are hoping she would be the perfect tutor for me.”

“We won’t know for sure until she and I have met,” Jenny stated, and pulled a book from the shelf, trying to calm herself down. The excitement she felt was slightly two-fold. If the girl was in college, maybe they would be around the same age. 

Jenny was the youngest teacher at Crunchem, her colleagues were all at least ten years older than her and so she never really got the chance to connect with someone her own age since she was in college herself. Her best friend had left and gotten married after they had graduated, and had since drifted apart…

“It’s almost like a date,” Matilda said, and Jenny froze.

“What do you mean?” Jenny asked, her voice small.

“I’ve never seen you this excited to meet with a potential tutor before,” Matilda reasoned, that brilliant brain of hers working its deduction. “However, most of my tutors were men, or older women. None of them were possibly around your age.”

“I…” Jenny trailed off, clutching the book to her chest defensively.

“No one at the school is really around your age either,” Matilda continued, her eyebrows scrunched together as she thought. “You have been busy, sure, but it’s almost like you try to keep yourself busy on purpose.”

Jenny sighed, it was always humbling when Matilda was able to see what she tried to hide from herself. Yes, she kept herself busy to keep herself from feeling alone. She had books to keep her company, but that doesn’t exactly replace someone you could interact with. 

“I guess I can’t really hide much from you, now, can I?” Jenny smiled sadly, “I suppose it was going to catch up to me soon enough.”

“I know you want to make sure you are there for me and the school,” Matilda said, “but even I have friends around my age, too. You need to have friends your age, Ms. Honey.”

Jenny nodded, and then perked up a bit, “Well, hopefully this all goes well and I will have a friend my age, hm?”

Matilda beamed, “I’m going to go get my books, I’ll meet you at the desk?”

“All right, dear,” Jenny said, and Matilda made her way over to a different section of the library.

When she got to a section of the library where she was alone, Matilda took a deep breath in and stood about six feet away from the shelf. She focused her eyes on a book at the top of the shelf, and tried to build the rage she felt when her father or Ms. Trunchbull yelled at or belittled her. She felt the rage come up, but it was weaker than it used to be. Her eyes didn’t even feel the heat that usually came when she tried to use her powers. The book only wiggled slightly off the shelf and she huffed out a breath in defeat.

It had started slowly. She realized that it was getting more difficult to make things move and Matilda couldn’t really understand why. Thinking about her parents and Ms. Trunchbull always worked, but she supposed since they were no longer a threat, she couldn’t channel that energy anymore.

Jenny wasn’t the only one keeping secrets from herself. Matilda tried not to cry as she realized that her powers were leaving her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I return to the world of writing fanfiction because this idea wouldn't leave me alone for the past year and Michelle (@Lilian_Silver) said it sounded like a great venture to start on. And I did because I was upset at the lack of Ms. Honey/OFC paired stories. And it might only slightly be a self-insert with Jack being based on my own personality and quirks. I plan to update this every two weeks with a new chapter, I'm just not sure what day of the week I'll do it. Maybe Wednesdays, since it's a title of one of the chapters.  
> Anyway, here goes nothing. I hope you enjoy this work, and please feel free to comment what you think, be it constructive criticism or geeking out over something adorable, because there will be a lot of that. I surprise myself at how cute some of the stuff I wrote so far and what I have planned.


	2. Louder than Sirens, Louder than Bells

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, jeez, you all really know how to make a writer feel welcome! Thank you so much for the kind words and kudos!  
> The song for this chapter is "Drumming Song" by Florence + the Machine (which if you haven't seen the music video, I highly recommend because wowwww).

When they returned home from the library, Jenny received a call from Mr. Sorrel as Matilda was helping prepare dinner. He said that Jacqueline would meet her at the coffee shop the next evening. Jenny hung up the phone and tried to keep her breathing even. 

“Who was on the phone?” Matilda asked as she turned the stove off. A big bowl of spaghetti noodles was to the side as she moved the saucepan to an unused burner next to it. 

“Mr. Sorrel,” Jenny cleared her throat after she had a bit of trouble answering. “He said that Jacqueline is free tomorrow evening to meet.”

“Why do you sound like you’ve received bad news then?” Matilda asked as she went to get the salad from the fridge. 

“Well,” Jenny started, and took the bowl of salad from Matilda as she went on to find serving utensils, “it’s been a while, and I’m not so sure I...well...to even think that I could be friends with her is preposterous, this is supposed to be like a job interview…” she trailed off as she set the bowl down on the dining table. 

“So, then just treat it as a job interview,” Matilda said evenly, as if that was that.

Jenny closed her eyes and sighed. To even be talking about this with an almost eight-year-old, regardless of how adult-like she is, was ridiculous. While she didn't exactly hide that she was interested in women around Matilda, she hasn’t exactly come out about it either. She was sure Matilda wouldn’t mind, but it was another possible distraction from being her caregiver. Work was essential, as it provided income and resources for them both. Dating was something that wasn’t on Jenny’s mind often, even before she met Matilda. That was more to do with the fact that it was difficult to navigate since society hasn’t exactly accepted _who_ she wanted to date. Sure, she’s been approached by single fathers of her students, but she was always able to decline them by using the “I don’t date my students’ fathers” excuse. 

It wasn’t since college that she was able to explore that part of her life. But even then, it never went beyond experimentation from the other girl. Any girl she showed interest in left her for a boyfriend or husband. 

It’s not just a coincidence that her favorite poet is Emily Dickinson. Jenny knew that the world tried to say that she died a spinster, but really they were too blind to see that she had love for another woman. Her poetry practically bleeds passion, not to mention the letters she wrote to Sarah Gilbert were definitely electrified by romance. Jenny wanted to have that type of connection with someone, and it was never more apparent than with another woman.

She supposed that might be the other reason why she hasn’t had many friends her age. She wanted that connection almost too much. To the point of self-destruction. 

Jenny thought she got this all out in college, but apparently not. 

“Ms. Honey?” 

She doesn’t even know what Jacqueline looks like! To think that she would be attracted to her immediately borders on the insane.

“Ms. Honey?”

Oh, but what if she is attractive? Jenny could feel her heartbeat pounding in her chest. Beating so loud she almost couldn’t hear—

“Ms. Honey!”

Jenny snapped back and realized that she had just been standing there in her own thoughts while Matilda had set the rest of the table. She was sitting down and had a plate of salad already started. Jenny placed a hand on her chest and used her other hand to smooth out the sundress she wore that day.

“Matilda, I’m so sorry,” Jenny went to sit down across from her, “I got lost in my thoughts.”

“Are you okay?” Matilda hadn’t touched her food yet, her eyes filled with worry.

Jenny felt her heart calm down, she reached over and patted Matilda’s hand, “I’m quite alright.”

“What were you thinking about?” Matilda asked, “If you’re still worried about getting me a tutor, we’ve already talked about how it’s okay.” 

Jenny really didn’t want to hide the truth from Matilda, but she also did not want to have this conversation right now. 

“Yes, I know, I still worry,” Jenny answered, not looking Matilda in the eye by grabbing the bowl of salad and putting some on her plate.

“Well, stop,” Matilda demanded, “you can always worry about that after meeting her and seeing that she isn’t a good fit.”

Jenny’s heart picked up speed, but she made sure to distract herself from it by taking a bite of salad.

What if she is a good fit though?

~*~

Jenny arrived at the coffee shop after dropping Matilda off at Lavender’s house. Bruce had come over as well and they were going to build a small fire pit in the backyard to make s’mores. Matilda told her she would make one for her when Jenny came back to bring her home.

Jenny ordered herself a chamomile tea and looked around the shop, it was mostly college-aged students, but it was still rather empty. She didn’t see anyone who looked as if they were waiting to meet someone and remembered that she got there 15 minutes before Jacqueline said they would meet.

 _Wise choice there, Jenny_ , Jenny chastised herself before picking a table that she could see the entrance from. She steeled herself and sipped at her tea to calm her nerves. What if something came up? It was only the summer, but if she was taking summer courses this would be near the end of the semester. She probably had exams! Why—

A young woman with a red-brown pixie cut sped up on a bicycle and caught Jenny’s eye as she screeched to a halt at the bike rack and dismounted. Her hair stuck up in several places as though she had never seen a brush before in her life. A stormy look was on her face as she swung open the door forcefully and dug into her pocket for cash. The barista already had a steaming mug of coffee ready for her, a sympathetic look on their face.

Before the barista could give the change back, the girl held up a hand and downed the cup in mere minutes before gasping out, “Refill.”

“That bad of a day?” 

The woman’s face contorted between a grimace and a smirk, “Probably one of the worst.”

Jenny was watching the scene unfold with curiosity. The woman had on a burgundy button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbow, a pair of dark blue jeans, and a gray messenger bag slung over her shoulder. She was pale, and not exactly built, but there was a noticeable strength about her. This woman looked like she could take a punch and get back up with a smile on her face and fire in her eyes.

Eyes that were now aimed at Jenny. 

Jenny, embarrassed at being caught, looked down and cradled her mug of tea. She tried to look as if she wasn’t eavesdropping, but when the messenger bag dropped next to the chair across from her, she knew that she was caught.

“Jennifer Honey, I presume,” the woman asked, her tone was flat and almost monotonous, but there was a pitch to it that belied something vivacious.

“Yes,” Jenny hadn’t looked up from her mug as she nodded, “Ms. Foxglove?”

“You can call me Jack,” the woman’s tone shifted to reveal more of that nonchalance, and when Jenny looked up, she saw a small grin curve up one side of Jack’s lips.

“You can call me Jenny,” Jenny smiled warmly as Jack sat down. 

Her hair was still in a tousle, which was only worsened when Jack thread her fingers through it, “I’m sorry I’m late.”

“No,” Jenny responded, “I just got here early.”

“Earlier than me, who set the time,” Jack leaned forward, “I’m late.”

Jenny saw that Jack’s eyes were an odd color she’d never really seen before. Deep blue with a gray tinge. Almost like the ocean.

Jenny’s stomach fluttered and she was very glad that she went with an herbal tea. Caffeine would have only made this meeting more difficult once she realized how attractive Jack was. 

Jenny swallowed back a gulp, “So, about the tutoring.”

“Yeah,” Jack’s face darkened back into that same look she came in with, “I’m sorry, but I don’t think you’ll want me for the job.”

Jenny paused in shock.

“Why not?”

“You were hoping I could help your daughter prepare for college,” Jack explained, and paused as she looked like she was grinding her teeth in frustration. Her jawline became more pronounced and Jenny felt a small stone start to settle in her stomach.

“I just had to drop out,” Jack strangled out. Her face was full of anger and shame.

Another stone and she felt her stomach start to drag down, “You still have experience in college, and I’m sure you didn’t just forget everything you learned because you dropped out.”

“I don’t think you could pay me enough,” Jack’s reply was quick and cutting.

“You don’t know that,” Jenny said. “Why did you have to drop out?”

At this point, Jenny had laid a hand on Jack’s in a nurturing motion. Jack’s eyes widened and snapped shut almost immediately and she pulled her hand from Jenny’s as if she’d been burned. Jack placed a palm over her right eye and started to tremble. Jenny tried to reach out again, but Jack shifted back in her seat.

“I’m sorry,” Jack groaned and rubbed at her eye, “I really should not have downed that coffee in one go earlier.”

“Are you all right?” Jenny went to get up, “I can ask them for some water.”

“No, no,” Jack said, bringing the hand down from her eye. “It’s fine, just give me a sec.” 

Jenny sat back down in her seat and smoothed the skirt of her dress out, “Are you sure?”

Jack blinked a few times, and then looked at Jenny, the smile from earlier back on her face, but weaker, “Yeah. I’m just stressed. This next semester was supposed to be my last, so I’m just angry at the situation.”

Jenny nodded sympathetically. She couldn’t imagine what mood she would be in if she had to drop out a semester before completing her degree. 

Jack leaned forward again with her elbows on the edge of the table and knotted her fingers together before setting her chin on top. She waited for Jenny to look her in the eyes.

“Look, I’m sorry for being short with you earlier... I’ll take the job.”

“You will!” Jenny smiled in relief, “Great! Now, can we talk about what you specialize in? My daughter is very bright, and has a passion in many subjects.”

“Mr. Sorrel explained as much,” Jack leaned back in her seat and looked breathless for a moment, “I was majoring in Psychology, but my interests are varied. I read just about anything I can get my hands on. If I don’t know something, I don’t stop until I find an answer. I’ve also tried to make practical use of the knowledge that I learn, so my skill set is widespread as well.”

Jenny held back a smile, but failed, “So...you’re a Jack-of-all-trades type?”

“Ha, ha,” Jack replied, her eyes glittered with sarcasm. “Like I haven’t heard that one before.”

“I’m sorry, but you do go by Jack,” Jenny shrugged, her stomach eased. She felt almost lightheaded at how easy it was to talk to her. 

“Yeah, I suppose I did leave that joke out there for you,” Jack scratched at the back of her head. She brought the mug of coffee up to try and take a sip, but grimaced and set the cup back down without drinking. 

A beat had passed between them, and Jack crossed her arms at her chest and leaned forward.

“So, do I pass?”

Jenny looked at Jack over the rim of her mug as she sipped more tea.

“I still need to figure that out, but for now, you definitely seem like the right fit.”

“Great,” the tension Jack had seemed to drop from her, “I need an income and doing odd jobs around town is great, but it’s stressful when I can’t just focus on one thing.”

“I know the feeling,” Jenny said, feeling more tension leave her own body, “I have more questions, but you seem like you could use some rest.”

Jack hunched her shoulders up in defense, but let them rest after a moment, “That obvious, huh?”

Jenny could see the dark circles under Jack’s eyes from where she came in, “Maybe lay off the coffee or switch to decaf during the evenings.”

Jenny patted Jack on the hand, and instead of pulling away, Jack put her other hand on top. A vulnerable look crossed her face for a brief moment, and her eyes flashed up to Jenny’s.

Jenny’s breath caught in her throat when she felt Jack’s thumb graze her palm. Then it was gone. Jack’s arms were crossed again, and the moment almost didn’t feel like it happened. 

“I should probably get going,” there was that grin again. “How about we meet at 4 PM this Wednesday?”

“That should work fine,” Jenny smiled, her heart beginning that heavy beat from the night before after Mr. Sorrel called. Jack grabbed her bag and stopped by the counter to get a bottle of water. Jenny couldn’t help but openly stare at her, feeling something pull her to Jack.

Oh, she was in trouble. Absolute, definite trouble. 

“Tell Matilda I can’t wait to meet her,” Jack said as she left through the door.

Jenny froze in her seat, trying to think if she had mentioned Matilda by name.

Meanwhile, Jack heard distant thunder rumble in the sky as she rode her bike home. Flashing images of a young girl with telekinetic powers, along with a large woman screaming homophobic slurs from Jenny’s memories...and Jenny’s heartbeat thrumming away like a drum in her ears.

Soft, brown eyes filled with hope and kindness...and slight mischief when she got a jab in with her wordplay. Jack thought briefly if in the sunlight they took on the shade of her last name.

A church bell rang out the hour as Jack realized she was in trouble, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you all in two weeks for the next chapter! (If I get more chapters completed ahead of schedule, I may bump up to updating every week instead, but we will have to see)
> 
> You’re more than welcome to DM me questions or if you wanna chat in general over on Instagram! @littletheorist on there as well.


	3. Wednesday's Child is Full of Woe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A small surprise for you all since this fic got 100 hits! Thank you all so much for the lovely comments and I'm sorry I haven't replied to all of you. School has kicked up into high gear and I've been trying to keep ahead of it.
> 
> Song for this chapter is "Wednesday's Child" by Vermillion Lies.

As the days passed from when Jenny came back from her meeting with Jack, Matilda had noticed a slight change. Anytime Jenny mentioned Jack or how she thought Matilda would like her, a slight blush would appear across her cheeks and she would have moments of breathlessness while she talked. 

Not to mention the mixture of confusion and the small smile on Jenny’s face anytime Jack was brought up. 

“You seem to really like Jack after only meeting her once,” Matilda asked. It was Wednesday afternoon, but they still had a couple of hours before Jack would arrive. Jenny had been pacing around the kitchen, trying to figure out if she should have snacks or drinks prepared. 

She had stopped when the remark had sunk in, “Yes, I suppose that is true.”

“But you also seem pretty confused at the same time,” Matilda continued, swinging her feet back and forth on the stool she sat on. 

Jenny pursed her lips as her thoughts went back to the night they met. She was certain she hadn’t mentioned Matilda’s name to Jack, so the fact that Jack knew her name was still something that bothered her. She kept trying to reassure herself that Mr. Sorrel probably mentioned it, but her gut wouldn’t let it go. 

“I guess it’s just been so long since I’ve interacted with someone close to my age,” Jenny deflected. She hated keeping a part of herself from Matilda, but she didn’t want to go through all of this and then get her hopes up with Jack.

Her hopes were already high enough that Jack even liked women herself. She wasn’t entirely sure, but the look in Jack’s eyes when her thumb brushed Jenny’s palm…

She could still feel the scratch of her thumbnail against it and she shook her hands out to try and make it go away.

“You’re nervous,” Matilda observed.

Jenny sighed, “Yes.”

“Why?”

Jenny bit at her lip, “I...I just really want this to go well.”

“So do I,” Matilda propped her elbows on her knees and set her chin in her hands, “I’m not worried though. Do you know why?”

Jenny smoothed her skirt out and shook her head.

“Because you said I would like Jack,” Matilda leaned back and shrugged a shoulder, “and you know me better than anyone else.”

Jenny’s nerves lessened slightly at that and she smiled more broadly, “That I do.”

“Not to mention that you have a pretty good read on most people,” Matilda continued, “and you bring the good out of them.”

Jenny cringed as her thoughts went to the Trunchbull, “Not everyone. The Trunchbull—”

“Doesn’t really have any good to bring out,” Matilda deadpanned, then grinned.

Jenny let out a short laugh, “No, I suppose not.”

A brief silence passed, and Jenny went back to pacing.

“Do you think I should make some snacks for you both to have?” Jenny finally asked.

“It wouldn’t hurt,” Matilda said, “but something small, considering dinner would be after she leaves.”

Jenny’s mind raced, “Do you think we should ask her to stay for dinner?”

Matilda opened her mouth to answer and then closed it, deep in thought. “It would be nice to offer.”

Jenny nodded and went to smooth her skirt again. It wasn’t so much she was getting out wrinkles, but her palms had begun to feel clammy from sweat. 

“I’ll go ahead and get some fruit prepared,” Jenny moved to the fruit bowl on the counter and pulled a couple apples as well as an orange. 

Matilda hopped off the stool, “Would you like some help?”

“Only if you want,” Jenny said, pointing to the cabinet, “can you bring down one of the big plates?”

Matilda was glad that Jenny was preoccupied with the fruit so she didn’t see her blanche. The big plates were up on the top shelf of the cabinets. Matilda used to be able to bring them down with her powers, but considering that she can’t get a book off a shelf, she didn’t know if she could manage it. 

Matilda bunched her hands into fists and tried to at least focus on opening the cabinet door. She shakily let out a breath and tried to call up the feelings she had when the Trunchbull went to put her in The Chokey. The feeling of being made to pay for something that her father did that she called him out on. She focused so hard that her fists shook, but the cabinet door did nothing. 

She didn’t even feel a spark behind her eyes as she focused, and when the frustration finally got the better of her, she huffed out. 

“Matilda?” Jenny turned around and saw Matilda’s shoulders droop. She looked to the cabinet door that held the plates she asked her to get and saw that it was still shut.

“I can’t do it!” Matilda cried out, “My powers are gone, I can’t even make the cabinet open up. I’m sorry.”

Jenny left the fruit forgotten on the counter as she kneeled down to console the now sobbing child. Matilda wrapped her arms around Jenny and shook as the frustration gave way to tears. They stayed that way for a few moments until the shaking started to subside. Jenny picked Matilda up and set her up on the stool and kneeled back down to look up at her.

She brushed a few of the stray tears away, handed Matilda the handkerchief she always kept tucked at her wrist, and softly said, “You have nothing to be sorry for, Matilda.”

“You asked me to get a plate down, and I couldn’t do it,” Matilda replied stubbornly, “I couldn’t do it, and I feel like part of me is gone now. I’m not much without my powers.”

Jenny was taken aback by that last sentence, “You are so much more than your powers, Matilda.” When Matilda went to argue, Jenny interrupted, “You are still incredibly intelligent, with a hunger to read almost anything in sight. You look at the world and see things in ways most adults haven’t been able to. So, you don’t have access to some wondrous gift that allowed you to survive in the world you were raised in, but that does not make you any less wondrous yourself.” 

Matilda took in a few calming breaths and let Jenny’s words wash over her. 

“So... you’re going to have to ask for help getting things down from high places,” Jenny shrugged, “welcome back to the regular world of a child.”

Jenny chanced a small smile as Matilda smirked at that. 

“I guess it’s good that you can reach, otherwise we’d have to start a circus routine together,” Matilda joked back, and Jenny laughed with her. Matilda wiped at her eyes and nose with the handkerchief, and then went to place in the hamper kept at the door to the basement.

“I wouldn’t put it past us to manage that,” Jenny walked back and brought her hands out as if to hug Matilda. Matilda hugged her, and Jenny propped her up on her hip to where she could open the cabinet. 

“Okay, now, please don’t do this when I can’t help keep you steady,” Jenny stated as she helped Matilda stand on the countertop, “I really don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

Matilda wobbled a bit as she raised herself on tiptoe to get better access to the top shelf, “I won’t. I promise.”

When Matilda got a plate down she handed it to Jenny, who placed it on the counter next to them and helped Matilda down. 

“I mean it,” Jenny firmly said, “not without my help.”

Matilda nodded, and then wrapped her arms around Jenny’s middle in another hug. 

“I’m sorry I kept this from you,” she heard Matilda mumble.

Jenny sighed and took Matilda’s wrists in her hands and knelt down in front of Matilda.

“To be honest, I have been keeping something from you, too,” Jenny gently said, “or rather, I haven’t been upfront about it.” 

Matilda stayed quiet, waiting for Jenny to tell her.

“Matilda, have you ever wondered why I’m not married?” Jenny asked, unsure of where to start.

“I always thought you were following in Dickinson’s footsteps,” Matilda said, “she wasn’t a really big fan of marriage.”

“That was more to do with the expectations of a wife back then,” Jenny explained, “and while that could be part of it…” she struggled on how to say it delicately, “I’ve never really had an interest in having a husband.”

“Because you like having your independence?” Matilda asked.

“Well, yes, but I also...oh, how do I word this?” Jenny was starting to get frustrated at her inability to just say it.

“Are you interested in women instead?” Matilda asked without a single note of judgement.

Jenny sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, “Yes. That would be the way to word it.”

Another brief silence passed as Matilda thought about the revelation. Jenny let her think on it while she went back to preparing the snacks. 

When Jenny finished setting up the plate with the fruit, she grabbed some crackers and cheese cubes to round out the plate before placing it in the fridge until Jack arrived. Matilda was back on the stool, deep in thought. 

“Did you have any questions about it?” Jenny faced Matilda after she washed her hands. 

“Not really,” Matilda said, “it makes sense, and it doesn’t change anything for us.”

Jenny let out a small sigh of relief. She wasn’t worried that Matilda would outright reject her, but she was curious to know how she felt about it.

“The only question I have is why you didn’t just tell me,” Matilda brought her eyes to Jenny’s. There wasn’t any hurt or judgement in them, just slight confusion.

“I wasn’t really sure it would ever come up,” Jenny said after she thought about it, “I also didn’t want to risk someone overhearing or you mentioning it to the wrong person.”

“‘Wrong person’?” Matilda was perplexed, as her eyebrows knit together, “How could the wrong person know?”

Jenny let out a slow breath, “This is the other reason why I didn’t really talk about it.”

Matilda again waited patiently for Jenny to continue.

“Some people don’t like the fact that I would be interested in women,” Jenny explained, “and a lot of those people are in places of power that have written laws that can punish me and people like me.”

Matilda’s jaw dropped, “But how is that okay? You aren’t hurting anybody!”

“That’s not what they think,” Jenny twisted at the dish towel she was holding, “if word were to get out about it, I could lose my job, I could lose respect from the people in town…”

Jenny tried to keep the strain from her voice at even the thought of what she said next, “I could lose my guardianship of you.”

Matilda sat straight up as if she had received an electric shock. Her eyes widened, and her small hands balled back up into fists.

“No!” was all she could say.

Jenny nodded sadly, “Yes. They could. Very easily, too.”

“I won’t allow it,” Matilda sternly said.

“Then you understand that you can’t say anything to anyone,” Jenny put the towel down and reached for Matilda’s hands. “This has to be our secret.”

Matilda nodded, “I can keep it.”

Jenny nodded, “Good.”

As Jenny turned around though, she wasn’t prepared for what Matilda said next.

“So, you like Jack romantically?” 

Jenny brought her hands to her face and rubbed at it. Oh, right. The other reason she didn’t want to bring this up.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now, please.”

“Why not?” Matilda asked.

“Because I don’t want to get either of our hopes up,” Jenny answered honestly. 

“So, you do like her then?” 

“Matilda…”

There was a knock at the door and Jenny looked at the clock. It was five minutes to four. Her stomach flipped as she looked to Matilda, who had this mischievous look on her face.

“You are not going to say anything to her about this,” Jenny said, pointing a finger at Matilda. “Promise?”

“Promise.” 

That mischievous glint never left her eyes though and Jenny felt her stomach fail to settle as she let Matilda get the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apparently have a good eye for last lines in chapters...in that it always seems to lead the reader on to see what's next. The good thing is your wait won't be another two weeks because I plan to stick to the schedule and post the next chapter next Wednesday! After that though, it will be back to a two week wait.
> 
> You all are more than welcome to follow me or DM me on Instagram or Twitter (@littletheorist) to discuss the story in greater detail! I'll try my best to reply in the comments, but it's easier to reach me at either one of those. 
> 
> Thanks again for reading!


	4. Brave New World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song title from "Rogues" by Incubus.

Jack made a stop at the coffee shop on her way to the Honey residence. She checked with the baristas if it was okay to leave her bike there and then put in her order. She had one of the apple turnovers they had baked fresh from that morning while she waited for them to finish her order, and made her way with a carrying tray of three drinks. 

Jack followed the directions Mr. Sorrel had given her and she stared at the large house from the garden wall covered in wildflowers. She checked a small watch on her wrist and saw she was right on time. Her eyes took in the front yard and caught on the swing hanging from a tree. 

It brought a flash of pain to her arm as she remembered the large woman who screamed obscenities in Jenny’s memories. She almost dropped the drinks, but grounded herself in the present. 

She really had to be more careful around people. Especially ones who catch her off guard and reach out before she can prepare herself.

Ever since she was young she had this undesirable ability of seeing into people’s minds. It was like diving into cold water. Breaking the surface of what the person was thinking at the moment, and falling deeper into the subconscious, and then the memories tied to the initial thought. Jack had never been able to really shut it off, but found that it always happened when she made physical contact with someone else. She tried gloves, long sleeves, anything to create a barrier, but nothing really worked better than keeping a distance from everyone. 

She had been getting better at steeling herself for it, but only when she initiated the contact. It made the cold easier to brace against. It always seemed to target itself behind her right eye, and she never really understood why. 

Checking her watch again as she made her way up the front steps to the door, Jack took a steadying breath and knocked on the right door of the double door entrance.

She slipped up that evening when she met Jenny. She was lucky she had the coffee as an excuse, but it was a close call overall. She’d realized her mistake in saying Matilda’s name when she had no way of knowing it. Granted, she could always say Mr. Sorrel had told her, but he had a bit of a bad memory with names. He went through Miranda, Martina, and Malinda before giving up and saying that Jenny would tell her. 

Jack rubbed at the back of her head, slightly tugging at the short stands before smoothing them out. It was a soothing gesture she had found after cutting it all off when she started college. She had a bad habit of pulling at her hair until she ripped strands out, but cutting it short kept her from getting a good grip on it. Not to mention she liked having shorter hair to begin with. It was less maintenance and she could do more with it if she really wanted to. It also gave her the edgier look she liked to have, since it brought out her jawline. More armor to keep people away.

The door opened after a few moments and Jack saw that small girl from Jenny’s thoughts. She had bright blue eyes that held a level of observance to them that Jack had seen before from herself at her age. Bangs framing her round face with the rest of her hair tied back with a blue ribbon. She was wearing a lighter blue dress and dark brown mary janes. 

“Uh, hi,” Jack gestured at the girl with the hand that held the drink carrier, “you must be Matilda.”

“You must be Ms. Foxglove,” the girl echoed back. “What’s that?”

She pointed at the drinks.

“You can call me Jack...I, uh, brought us some drinks from the coffee shop,” Jack shifted a hand at the strap of her messenger bag, “I hope that’s okay.”

“Only if you got me hot cocoa,” Matilda had a small smirk on her face.

“One hot cocoa,” Jack pulled the drink out and handed it to her. “Is that my ticket in?”

“Matilda, please let her come in,” an all-too familiar voice sounded out from inside. 

Jack tried to ignore how her stomach felt like it was floating two inches higher than where it was supposed to be as well as the scent of warm honeysuckle and clove that wafted out at her. 

Matilda stepped back and Jack walked in. She looked to her left and saw a living room with a large fireplace and a portrait of a man with brown hair and eyes.

Eyes that had been passed down to his daughter, who just walked in to welcome her. She was tucking a new handkerchief into a gold band at her wrist.

“I suppose you two have introduced yourselves?” Jenny asked, trying to keep her voice even. Matilda looked coolly at her over the lid of her cup as she took a sip of her cocoa, “Where did you—”

“Ah, I thought it would be okay to bring refreshments,” Jack said, holding a cup out for her, “I hope that’s okay. I thought it would have been rude to come here with just something for myself.”

Jenny went to take the cup and her fingers brushed against Jack’s. The look on Jack’s face went stony for a brief moment, but it vanished as she busied herself with her own drink.

Jenny took a sip and the chamomile tea from the coffee shop hit her tongue. 

“You remembered what I had that night?” Jenny asked, looking at Jack. 

“I asked the baristas there,” Jack had that small grin in place. “You two are regular customers there as much as I am.”

“And I suppose you went with coffee?” Jenny asked. She tried to keep her eyes on Jack’s, but that small quirk of her lips was too distracting. 

“Actually, I think one of the baristas went into shock when I asked them for an herbal chai,” Jack laughed, and Jenny tried to ignore the fluttering in her chest at it.

“So, you took my advice on cutting down on the caffeine?” Jenny smiled and lifted her cup to take another drink.

“Yeah,” Jack said, having just as much trouble focusing on Jenny’s eyes.

Matilda decided at that moment to chime in. Now that she knew Jenny’s interest in Jack, and seeing how Jack was fawning just as much over Jenny, she had ideas of a plan starting to take form. She also wanted to test out the abilities of her new tutor.

“I’m surprised you didn’t get us iced drinks with how hot it is right now,” Matilda said, looking at Jack.

Jack snapped to as the reason she was there came to her attention, “Hot drinks can help raise the internal body temperature, which in turn kicks the body’s system into cooling it down if one follows what Walter Cannon’s expanded definition of homeostasis is.”

Matilda’s eyebrows rose as she looked in awe at Jenny, who had her brows raised as well, but a knowing smile on her face. In lieu of saying anything, Jenny just continued to sip at her tea.

“What do you mean by ‘expanded definition?’” Matilda asked, as she led Jack to the living room and sat down in a chair.

Jack took the seat on the couch across from her, dropping her bag next to her feet, her face scrunched up, “I can’t really remember exactly, but if I recall correctly, the term itself was coined back in the 1870s by a man named...Claude Bernard. But I would double check, just in case I’m misremembering. I do know it was a French physiologist though.”

“Where did you learn about it?” Matilda asked, leaning forward in her seat. 

Jenny was leaning against the doorway of the entrance, not wanting to interrupt or intrude, but she wanted to see how Matilda and Jack interacted. She could have said it was to make sure Jack was a good fit to tutor Matilda, but she really wanted to see more of Jack’s mind and hear her talk. 

She tried to tell herself she wasn’t there because of the scent of cedarwood and rain that enveloped Jack.

“I read Walter Cannon’s journal article on it when I got into an argument with one of my professors when he tried to say that Darwin coined it in his Origin of the Species,” Jack said sheepishly, “I wanted to know for sure that I was right.”

“And you were?” Matilda asked, her attention fully on Jack.

“Yes,” Jack said with a smile, “but that didn’t keep me from getting kicked out of class for calling him out on it.”

“But you were right!” Matilda said indignantly.

“You’ll find that even when you are right,” Jack said soberly, “people don’t like to be wrong and will take it out on you instead of seeing it as a learning opportunity.”

Matilda sat back in her seat as that sank in. She knew only too well how correct Jack was.

“Plus, I can understand the mistake,” Jack said, fiddling with her cup, “Darwin did use the term when talking about natural selection.”

“Did you study Biology then?” Matilda asked.

“Only a class, it’s a requirement for when you get your Bachelor’s to have a science,” Jack replied, “I was told to choose it or Chemistry, and I had more of an interest in theory over carrying out experiments.”

“Really?” Matilda asked, “But experiments are so fun to do!”

“They are when you get to build them yourself,” Jack took a sip of her drink, “I wasn’t interested in carrying out the same experiments over and over again just to teach me how to use the equipment. Not that that’s a bad way of learning, it just isn’t for me.”

“You like to make your own rules,” Matilda smiled.

“To an extent,” Jack chuckled, “I need some form of a template to work from in order to twist them to work the way I want.” 

“I can appreciate that,” Matilda was almost giddy, “I’m the same way sometimes.”

“I bet you are,” Jack let out a bark of a laugh. “All right, so I’ve been told that you have quite the mind, which I’ve yet to experience fully.”

Jack set her cup down and put a hand under her chin as she propped her elbow on her knee, “You have an interest in Biology, but I’m sure you have many other interests. What else do you excel at?”

“I do really well in math,” Matilda said, “I can multiply large numbers in my head almost immediately after the question is posed.”

“Well, I won’t be of much help there,” Jack rubbed the back of her neck, “I can help with algebra and basic math, but geometry I’m shaky in and don’t get me started on Calculus.”

“I think I’ll be fine if we don’t go over math more,” Matilda said with a confidence that almost surprised Jack.

“Okay, so what else?”

“I love to read,” Matilda’s face glossed over as she thought about books.

“Who is your favorite author?” Jack asked.

“Dickens,” Matilda replied instantly. Jack smiled and nodded in approval, “Yours?”

Jack leaned back and ran her fingers through her hair, “That’s always a difficult question for me to answer. I can’t really choose, but lately I’ve been reading a lot of Austen. I’m also a big fan of Lewis Carroll. In terms of authors who are living: I’ve become fond of Neil Gaiman’s work.”

“I don’t think I’ve heard of Gaiman, but I enjoyed reading about Wonderland,” Matilda said. “Which of Austen’s works is your favorite?”

“ _Pride & Prejudice_, I know, it’s everyone’s favorite,” Jack waved a hand, “but it’s for a good reason.”

Matilda looked over at Jenny slyly, for just a quick moment, then back to Jack, “Do you like poetry?”

Jenny picked up on what Matilda was trying to do and tried to silently motion for her to _stop_. Matilda’s face was feigning innocence, but Jenny knew that she was faking it.

“I do,” Jack said, seeing the look Matilda gave, but she didn’t turn to look, “I really like Dorothy Parker. Along with plenty of others.”

“What about Dickinson?” Matilda asked, trying not to smile as Jenny once again motioned at her to quit.

“Dickinson is fantastic,” Jack smiled, “I keep trying to check a book of her poetry out from the library, but every time I think to do so, it’s checked out.”

Jenny’s eyes bored into Matilda as she continued on.

“Oh, really?” Matilda tilted her head, “I wonder why?”

Matilda looks at Jenny who is almost pleading with her to stop. Matilda feels a little guilty and starts to back off.

“I don’t,” Jack shrugged, “she’s a popular writer, it makes sense that it’s never in.”

Jenny let out a breath of relief she hadn’t realized she was holding when Matilda moved the conversation along, but a loud gurgle from Jack’s stomach brought the whole conversation to a halt.

“Well, that pastry I had earlier certainly did not keep me sated for very long now, did it?” Jack fidgeted in her seat, “I apologize.”

“No need to apologize, that just reminds me that I’ve put together snacks for this case,” Jenny said and moved to the kitchen to pull the plate from the fridge.

As soon as Jenny was gone, Matilda looked to Jack, “So, what are you studying for college?”

Jack felt the air in her lungs leave as if she’d been punched, but recovered, “I was studying Psychology.”

“ _Was_?” Matilda inquired.

“I…” Jack wrung her hands, “I had to drop out before my last semester.”

It was getting easier to say, but the anger that riled up within was still as heated.

“Why?” 

Jack looked Matilda in the eye. She wasn’t sure how much she should tell.

“I couldn’t afford it and I can’t qualify for student loans,” Jack stated quietly.

“How were you able to pay for it before?” 

“My parents paid for it all,” Jack explained, “I did something that they didn’t agree with and they cut me off.”

Matilda let the silence hang between them, and then, “What did you do?”

Jenny was around the other side of the wall listening in. She wondered what the situation was that made Jack look so angry the evening they met, and curiosity had gotten the better of her as Matilda continued.

Jack tried to rub away the feeling of cool steel that clamped too tight around her wrists. She drew her tongue against the inside of her lower lip, feeling for where it was busted and expecting to taste blood but found neither. 

“I used the money for something other than school,” Jack said vaguely, “I’m not going to go into detail just yet.”

“Do you not get along with your parents?” Matilda asked immediately.

Jack leaned back in her seat and sighed, bringing a hand to her face, “No. I was hoping that once I graduated and got into a Master’s program, I wouldn’t have to rely on them anymore and I could finally be done with them.”

Matilda’s silence made Jack look at her, “I don’t really have a great relationship with them, but not all parents are like that. Ms. Honey, for example.”

“She’s not my birthmom,” Matilda replied. “She adopted me when my parents moved to Guam because my dad sold junky cars fixed with stolen parts.”

Jack’s eyebrows rose up and she felt her worry of being misunderstood drop, “Oh…”

“If anyone here understands you on that,” Matilda said, “it’s me.”

Jack looked at Matilda in surprise and wanted to ask more, but Jenny took that moment to come in with a plate of fruit, cheese, and crackers.

“Matilda had a bit of a rough childhood growing up,” Jenny confirmed, and looked at Jack, “you’re not alone in that.”

Jack nodded, “What about you?”

“I had the opposite of Matilda. My parents both died when I was young, but they were always kind to me,” Jenny reached up and touched the locket hanging around her neck, “however, the caretaker I had was not.”

“Trunchbull,” Matilda murmured. 

The image of the burly woman returned to Jack’s mind and she rubbed her arm in the same place and at the same time Jenny had rubbed hers. Jack had caught her movement and scratched at her arm instead to make it subtle. 

“Well,” Jack rubbed her hands together, “shall we continue on?”

Matilda nodded, and Jenny hovered for a moment, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. She felt unsure if she needed to leave or—

“You’re more than welcome to take a seat, Jenny,” Jack said, grabbing a cheese cube and cracker.

Jenny took a seat in the chair next to Matilda and grabbed an orange slice. Matilda grabbed a couple apple slices and cheese cubes and sat cross legged in her seat. 

“I guess the thing to ask now is what books have you had trouble with, if any,” Jack asked Matilda, “or if there were books you wanted to revisit because you felt you didn’t get a good grasp on them. Just a way to kick start this all off with.”

Matilda thought on it as she chewed and swallowed her food, “I read Orwell’s _Animal Farm_ and enjoyed it, but when I tried to read _1984_ , I got a bit caught up in the doublespeak.”

Jack nodded and hummed in approval, “I also had some trouble with it, but rereading it a few times helped. Have you read anything about the Russian Revolution or Stalin’s reign? A lot of it influenced Orwell on _Animal Farm_.”

“I’ve read about the revolution, but I never made the connection,” Matilda said.

“Then we’ll start there and we can work our way through _1984_ ,” Jack suggested, “or we could read _Brave New World_ by Huxley. There are some parallels between it and _1984_ that we could discuss as well.”

“I haven’t read _Brave New World_ ,” Matilda straightened up in her seat, “I think that sounds like it would be a great place to start!”

“Great,” Jack smiled her half grin again, and then took out a pen and notebook from her messenger bag. Reaching into a pocket on her shirt, she pulled out a pair of horn-rimmed glasses and put them on. After grabbing an orange slice and popping it into her mouth, she took down some notes, and scratched at her neck with the end of the pen.

“Okay, so by my estimate, we could read both books within the month, two weeks per book,” Jack looked at Matilda, who nodded, “and we could even switch back and forth between books to read in tandem.”

“I’d rather read each book in entirety first,” Matilda stated.

“Okay,” Jack scratched that out in her notes, “can do. Then maybe we can switch off to a book either you or I recommend that the other hasn’t read?”

As Matilda and Jack carried on trying to work out the details, Jenny watched as Jack wrote, and struggled to not lean forward to see what her writing looked like. The teacher in her knew that personalities came out in one’s writing style as much as anything else, and she was fighting off the curiosity about Jack again. 

Not to mention that those glasses framed her face rather handsomely. So, Jenny was trying to focus on something so she wasn’t blatantly staring at her face. 

Matilda hopped off her seat and walked over to Jack as she was packing up.

“I think this is going to be the start of a great friendship, Jack,” Matilda said, sticking out her hand for Jack to shake. 

Jack looked at Matilda’s outstretched hand and hesitated, then brought her hand to Matilda’s and shook it.

“I agree,” Jack said as memories of Matilda’s birth parents swirled in her head. She let go of Matilda’s hand and went to the front door.

As Matilda and Jenny followed her, Matilda looked pointedly at Jenny and mouthed at her, “Dinner?”

Jenny stepped forward and called out as Jack’s hand grabbed the handle of the door, “Would you like to stay for dinner?”

Jack didn’t turn around immediately, she was trying to keep her composure as she could see the Trunchbull yelling in Matilda’s memories and her stomach turned. 

“I’m sorry,” Jack replied, “I’m not very hungry right now.”

As she opened the door and made her leave, she turned around and caught a glimpse of the disappointed glances between the two.

“Maybe next time,” Jack said, feeling better that their expressions brightened up at that. 

Jenny nodded and smiled as Jack closed the door and left. Matilda looked to Jenny.

“I can definitely see why you like her.”

“You are an absolute stinker!” Jenny went to tickle Matilda, who laughed and tried to run to the kitchen, “Why did you have to bring up poetry with her?”

“Because I had to ask the questions I knew you were too scared to!” Matilda yelled back as she ducked behind the counter.

Jenny couldn’t help the smile and small blush on her cheeks as she crossed her arms.

“I would have asked her,” Jenny remarked, “eventually.”

“Well, now you don’t need to,” Matilda popped her head from behind the counter. “Am I in trouble?”

Jenny sighed and let out a small chuckle, “No. Just please, let me handle my feelings for Jack. I don’t even know if she likes me back or likes women.”

“She brought you tea,” Matilda argued.

“Yes.”

“She likes Dickinson.”

“Yes.”

“She also gets all blushy and smiley like you’re getting when she’s talking to you.”

Jenny didn’t have a response to that other than to cover her face with her hands. What was she getting herself into?

Outside of the door, Jack leaned her head back against the wood, trying to calm her mind and stomach down. Right when Jenny had asked her about dinner, the conversation between her and Matilda flashed through her mind and all she could see was the hope on Jenny’s face that Jack would stay.

Jack resisted the urge to bump her head against the door and started the walk back to get her bike. 

She couldn’t risk breaking the two of them apart. If she and Jenny were to ever... 

Getting caught and beaten up for it was something she’d been through, but she wasn’t going to risk Matilda going back to those awful people who birthed her. And she sure as hell wasn’t going to risk Jenny going through that and possibly worse. 

Jack hesitated at the front of the coffee shop at her bike, then went in to order her usual dark roast to go. 

It wasn’t like she was going to be able to sleep that night anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all again for the lovely comments! I'll see you all in two weeks.


	5. I Won't Let it Show, I'm All About Denial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song that goes with this chapter is "Pavlov's Bell" by Aimee Mann

Matilda had woken bright and early the next day ready to go to the library immediately so she could get a copy of _1984_ and _Brave New World_. She was excited to get started on them with Jack, and Jenny couldn’t bear to tell her to wait until the afternoon. 

Matilda had already had cereal for breakfast by the time Jenny was dressed for the day.

“Ms. Honey, hurry up!” Matilda was practically bouncing on her feet in impatience, “I want to be sure that I’m keeping up with Jack!”

Jenny smiled and held back a chuckle, “Well, that has to be a first. Usually it’s been the other way around.”

Matilda started to pace and was breathless as she spoke, “Well, you finally found me someone who can provide a challenge.”

Jenny went to put some bread in the toaster and got out the butter, “That I did, but I also think Jack is the type who is flexible to meet your demands. Considering that she asked for your input on how you want to be tutored, I think she’s willing to take this at your pace, not the other way around.”

Matilda stopped pacing, “Yeah, I know, but I want to make sure I am a good tutee.”

“I think someone is just bored after a summer of tutors who were lacking,” Jenny smiled again, and once her toast was done, she grabbed a plate down from the cabinet. “You have nothing to worry about.”

Matilda stood in place, considering Jenny’s words. Then she went to the fridge and got the orange juice out.

“I suppose impatience isn’t exactly a great way to start the morning,” Matilda poured the juice into the two glasses Jenny brought down for her.

“Not usually, no,” Jenny finished her toast with some cinnamon and honey, then they both took a seat at the table, “but I wouldn’t say you’re impatient, just eager.”

“I guess I did get a little bored over the summer,” Matilda sighed, “I can’t wait for school to start back.”

“Me too.”

“Any luck getting The Chokey removed from your office?” Matilda asked.

Jenny sighed and took another bite of her toast. The Chokey was the last thing in the office that reminded anyone of Trunchbull's existence. She managed to get the shelves and walls fixed up and repainted, but that damned space still had a tarp hanging in front of it.

“Not yet,” Jenny responded, “I think everyone I contacted is too afraid to touch it. They think it’s cursed.”

Matilda grimaced, “I wouldn’t be surprised if it was.”

“We should probably stop by the school and make sure everything is in order,” Jenny rubbed at her left temple, “I haven’t been in there once this summer.”

“I would be okay with that!” Matilda smiled, then concerned, “Are you going to be okay? I know it has to be stressful, especially now that the high school has been added on.”

“Nothing I can’t handle,” Jenny pulled her fingers away from her temple, “I’m just trying to think how I should carry on my weekly visits to classes.”

One thing Jenny did take from Trunchbull’s methods was visiting each class every day on a rotating schedule. Just to check in with the students and teachers, as well as to fulfill her love of teaching. It had been easy to adjust to when it was just an elementary school, but she didn’t want the high school students to be left out. 

“Maybe I could do two hour sessions in one day. First and second grade on one day, third and fourth the next day, and so on,” Jenny said.

“If you did that, then you could make it three days a week instead of every day,” Matilda reasoned. “You could do Tuesday through Thursday so you have Monday to prepare, and Friday you can relax for a bit.”

Jenny mulled over it and nodded, “I don’t think I’d be very good at relaxing, but that does sound like a good idea.”

“If you don’t use it to relax, you can use it to focus on other things,” Matilda gave Jenny an all-too-knowing look.

“I don’t know what you’re suggesting,” Jenny tried to focus on her toast.

“You’re getting all blushy again,” Matilda smirked.

Jenny looked up at Matilda, “I thought we agreed that I would deal with that.”

“I’m just coming up with ideas,” Matilda shrugged, “it’s up to you if you use them or not.”

Jenny finished her toast off and drank the rest of her juice, “I appreciate you trying to help, but again, I don’t even know if she likes women.”

Matilda had a retort ready for that, but held back. It was no use to argue until Jenny knew the answer to that for sure. 

“Now,” Jenny turned around from the sink, “did we want to stop for tea and cocoa before the library?”

“Yes, please,” Matilda jumped up from her seat.

~*~

“Well, well,” a voice sounded as Jenny and Matilda were window shopping on their way back from the library, “you all are out earlier than usual today.”

Jenny turned around and saw Mr. Sorrel carrying a crate of rhubarb.

“Mr. Sorrel,” Jenny beamed, “would you like some help with that?”

“Oh, no, don’t worry about it,” Mr. Sorrel shifted his grip on the crate, “I’ve been able to manage this for a long time. I’m not about to let age stop me.”

“Well, we can at least walk you over to the town square,” Jenny suggested and Matilda nodded.

“Keep an old man company, eh?” Mr. Sorrel smiled, “All right, then.”

“I wanted to check in with you about Jacqueline,” Mr. Sorrel said as they made their way into the bustling square, “a bit of a firecracker, that one.”

Jenny tried to hold back her smirk, “Only slightly. I hired her for Matilda’s tutor. She’s definitely shaping up to be a great fit.”

“Matilda!” Mr. Sorrel put a finger up in an “aha” moment, “That’s your name! Ah, forgive me, my memory is not so great anymore. I kept calling you Miranda.”

“You’re forgiven, Mr. Sorrel,” Matilda smiled warmly. 

Jenny once again fought off the wandering thoughts in the back of her mind about Jack knowing Matilda’s name.

“Well, good! It’ll get her out into town more. I meant to mention it when I brought her up. She’s the one who took up residence in the old cottage,” Mr. Sorrel started to sort the rhubarb around on the table.

Jenny was taken aback, “Really?”

“Yes,” Mr. Sorrel waved at a few other patrons in the square, “she should still be there if you two wanted to swing by and see the place. She hasn’t changed much, but I will say she’s made the place her own.”

Jenny and Matilda looked at one another, and Jenny tried to ignore the glint that showed in Matilda’s eyes.

“We should go!” she said.

“What about stopping at the school?” Jenny asked, “We can’t do both if you want to get started on reading.”

“I can start reading tomorrow,” Matilda abruptly said and shrugged.

_Of course she could_ , Jenny thought. She tried to not grit her teeth in frustration. 

“Well, if we are going to do both, we should make our way over now,” Jenny said, and nodded at Mr. Sorrel. “Have a great rest of your morning, Mr. Sorrel.”

“Thank you, dear. You ladies enjoy the rest of your day!”

Jenny and Matilda made their leave. Matilda was almost bouncing again with excitement, while Jenny’s mind finally wandered on about how Jack knew Matilda’s name. They decided to go to the cottage first, since it would be easier to loop back to the school before going home. Jenny looked for the fence of sticks and wildflowers that she planted so long ago. 

She briefly wondered what Mr. Sorrel meant when Jack made it her own.

“There it is!” Matilda pointed at the first batch of honeysuckle. She started to run up to the fence.

“Matilda, please slow down,” Jenny said as she navigated the dirt road. There were always tractor tracks around that caused an issue if one wasn’t careful enough. Jenny couldn't shake how strange it felt. It was odd to return to this place when she had gotten her childhood home back. It felt like they were going back or stuck in time. 

When they approached, the front door opened up and a bike wheel stuck out. When they were closer, Jenny could see the lower half of Jack’s body as she leaned in around the door. She talked to someone they couldn’t see in an odd, slightly higher-pitch voice than usual.

“Be good, please. Love you!” Jack pulled the rest of her body out the front door and froze when she saw Jenny and Matilda.

“Who are you talking to?” Matilda asked, just as shell-shocked as Jenny at Jack’s words.

“Uh,” Jack dragged the uttered pause out as she looked from Matilda to Jenny. Jenny could see her shoulders bunch up as her expression became sheepish.

“I was talking to the cat,” Jack mumbled and scratched the back of her head.

“You have a cat?” Matilda and Jenny asked. Matilda’s tone was mild curiosity, while Jenny’s tried to mask the relief in her own.

Almost like it knew it was being talked about, a black cat wound itself around the door, around Jack’s ankles, and let out a large meow.

“Yes,” Jack said and looked down, “his name is Pavlov.”

“That’s a weird name,” Matilda remarked as she crouched down to try and coax the cat to her.

“I named him after a very well-known psychologist,” Jack moved her bike fully out of the house to set it against the wall and let Pavlov have easier access to Matilda, “Pavlov is known for the concept of classical conditioning. His famous experiment of ringing a bell to announce food for dogs led to them—”

Pavlov trotted over to Matilda and she began to pet him...and he started to drool.

“Drooling when the bell rang,” Jack gestured at the cat. “Pavlov the cat drools when you scratch behind his ears.”

“Did you condition him to be that way?” Jenny asked, amused at the cat, who was now on his back with his belly exposed.

“No, he came that way,” Jack let out a small chuckle, “when I discovered that, I figured Pavlov was a good name, given my studies.”

Matilda giggled as the cat grabbed at her hand with his paws and dragged it up to his face, “He’s a very sweet cat.”

“Yes, he is,” Jack smiled her usual grin.

“Where did you get him?” Jenny asked as she also laughed at his antics.

“I didn’t,” Jack shrugged, “he just waltzed in when I moved in here, and I didn’t have the heart to make him leave. Plus, he keeps the rodent population under control.”

Jack then looked at Jenny with an unsettled expression, “How did you all know where I lived?”

“Mr. Sorrel told us,” Jenny smoothed out her blouse, “I used to live here.”

Jack looked astonished, “Really?” 

Jenny nodded, and tried to ignore the fluttering in her stomach.

“We came by to see it because Mr. Sorrel said you’ve made some improvements,” Matilda had Pavlov gathered in her arms. “We stopped by the library so I could get the books for our sessions, too!”

“Did you?” Jack smiled widely and gestured to her bag, “I was actually on my way out to the coffee shop to start taking notes and ideas for discussion.”

Jenny’s eyes caught on the knuckles of Jack’s hand. Angry, red scabs had covered a couple of them. When she looked at Jack’s right hand, she saw bandages covering the knuckles completely.

“What happened to your hands?” Jenny asked softly, her brows knitted together with worry.

“I, uh, have a punching bag set up.” Jack explained, and crossed her arms to hide the wounds. Her shoulders shrugged up, “I do some kickboxing to keep in shape, but my wrapping job last night wasn’t as good as it should have been, so I ended up with a few splits.”

“That sounds painful,” Matilda remarked.

“It is when you first start up,” Jack scratched at the back of her head, “but after a while you get used to it. And usually when you wrap your hands correctly, the gloves don’t rub as bad, so the knuckles are more protected.”

A short silence passed and Jack felt an itch under her skin that she got when she got the feeling she was under a microscope.

“I can wait to go to the coffee shop and show you all around,” Jack moved to the front door, “come on in.”

Matilda followed along, Pavlov still in her arms, but Jenny hesitated. She made eye contact with Jack, who looked at her with a steady gaze.

“It must feel weird coming back,” Jack said.

Jenny’s eyes narrowed, but she nodded. Why did she feel like Jack could just read her mind at times?

“You have a way of knowing what I’m thinking,” Jenny joked, and she missed the flash of guilt in Jack’s eyes.

“Your body language speaks for itself,” Jack answered, “you’re tense, almost defensive.”

“Right,” Jenny breathed out, and tried to relax her shoulders, “I forget that that’s something you’ve trained to look for in people.”

Jack nodded, “I promise, I didn’t change much. I just paid for electricity to get installed, but the place is pretty much the same.”

Jenny looked at Jack, “Electricity is a nice thing to have.”

“Especially for a night owl like me,” Jack grinned, and gestured her head to come in.

When Jenny stepped into the cottage, it looked completely different from when she lived there. Not in structure, but in the decor. Plants lined around the walls wherever the pots could sit. An herb garden sat in the window next to the back door, and the cabinets were repainted to a soft green. The space that held her bedroom had a full-sized bed with a wooden frame, and the curtain separating the space from the rest of the cottage was a dark gray. A small couch sat in the middle of the space outside of the bedroom and in front of it sat a stand with a television on it. 

Jenny went to glance around the other side of the kitchen to find that the claw-foot bathtub was still in place in the bathroom. Out of everything in the cottage, that was probably the thing she missed the most. She even thought about getting one installed at the house.

“Ms. Honey, isn’t this amazing?” Matilda ran up to her.

Jenny nodded at her, and then looked back at the television with a frown.

“Ah, yes, that’s probably the only change,” Jack said.

“You like watching T.V.?” Matilda asked, almost disappointed.

“There are some good shows out there, and I have a fondness for films,” Jack explained. At Matilda’s look of shock, she barked out a laugh, “Let me guess, your family watched crappy game shows and not much else.”

Matilda grimaced as she recalled, “Yeah. They wouldn’t let me read when they had ‘family time’ in front of it.”

“Mmhmm,” Jack intoned, “well, I can promise you, I won’t subject you to those. I may suggest a movie night here and there.”

“I think I will always prefer books over movies,” Matilda stated.

“You think that now,” Jack crouched down to Matilda’s level, “but I will argue that there’s a different magic to film. You get to see the story interpreted in a way you might not have thought, or exactly how you thought, and getting to see the actors bring those characters to life is definitely worth seeing.”

Matilda thought about it, “Okay…”

“Plus, there will be popcorn,” Jack said in a convincing tone.

Matilda’s face brightened, “I do like popcorn.”

“Great,” Jack grinned, and looked up at Jenny, “you’re also invited.”

“Oh, good,” Jenny smiled back. “I’m afraid I’m not much into movies myself either, but I will say you make them sound enticing.”

Jack stood back up and raised her arms, “I’m afraid there’s not much to the tour, but the backyard has a small garden that I started on.”

“What are you growing?” Matilda asked, before Jenny could.

“I’ve got some spinach, cucumber, and tomatoes for now,” Jack led the way to the back, “and I’ve got plans for different winter squash closer to the end of summer.”

Jenny heard Matilda’s gasp and she understood why when she walked out. The vegetables were in small beds, but all along the back of the property were at least twenty to thirty sunflowers.

“I planted those when I moved in,” Jack motioned to them, “the tomatoes are the worst though. It took three tries to get them to grow successfully.”

Jenny hadn’t looked away from the sunflowers. Jack didn’t notice as she took Matilda around the garden to show her the different beds and plants. Jenny’s heart started to ache at the scene. She brushed her hands down the front of her blouse in order to try and stop them from shaking. 

Tried to keep the image of Jack and Matilda in the garden together, almost like Jack was part of the family.

It felt as natural as breathing air, but the reality crashed down and Jenny felt her head spin at the fact that she and Jack couldn’t just be together. 

Jack had looked up and saw Jenny struggle. Instead of calling attention to her, she waited for Jenny to make eye contact with her. 

Jenny had looked up to find Jack staring intently at her, and she felt a shock to her system. Jack’s eyes were worried as she mouthed, “You okay?”

Jenny took a grounding breath and nodded. Jack’s eyes still looked at her with worry. She whispered something to Matilda and then got up to walk over to Jenny.

“What did you tell her?” Jenny asked as Matilda went to hide in the sunflowers.

“I told her Pavlov likes to play hide and seek in the flowers,” Jack dusted her hands off.

Sure enough, the black cat had wandered out of the house and trotted to the flowers. Jenny started to chuckle as she could see Matilda weave in between the flowers and the cat followed suit. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Jack asked, and Jenny looked at her confused.

“About?”

“About what has you bothered,” Jack shoved her hands in her pockets, “you don’t have to, I just figured I should offer. I’ve been told I’m a good listener.”

“I wouldn’t really know where to start,” Jenny answered. She wanted to be honest, but she also didn’t want to just tell Jack.

Jack nodded, “I get that.”

They both watched Matilda and Pavlov play around in the sunflowers as the moment between them settled. Jack looked at Jenny in the corner of her eye and weighed the risk of what she was about to do.

Jenny felt something drag her hand over and looked down to find Jack’s pinky finger intertwined with hers. She felt the blush rise in her cheeks as she froze, wondering if she should pull away or not. 

Jack had her face schooled in a neutral expression as what Jenny thought about passed through her own mind. She closed her eyes and inhaled sharply at the spike of pain behind her right eye, but she didn’t pull away. She couldn’t when she felt her ache at the situation. Not when the ache echoed Jack’s own, especially when Jenny maneuvered their hands so she could brush a thumb against the bandages.

“When did you go to sleep?” Jenny asked, and Jack disentangled their hands.

“I didn’t,” Jack heaved out a sigh. She hoped to get the ache in her chest out with it, but it only seemed to deepen. 

“Oh…”

Jack felt her shoulders tighten as she tensed up, ready to bring her armor back up at a moment’s notice.

“Still stressed about school?”

“It’s part of it,” Jack said, and brought a hand up to scratch at the back of her head, “but I was never great at sleeping either.”

Jenny moved into Jack’s field of vision, “Why?”

Jack shrugged, “Just haven’t been great at it.”

Jenny wasn’t satisfied with that mumbled answer, but she wasn’t going to push. Jack looked like she wanted to say something more, but she seemed to be struggling.

“Would it have something to do with your parents?” Jenny pushed anyway.

Jack was silent for a moment, “I wish they would just disown me. It would make this all so much easier.”

It wasn’t yelled, but the way Jack’s hands shook, she looked like she wanted to scream it. But before Jenny could ask anything more, Matilda had started to walk back to them with Pavlov at her heels. Jack’s hands stopped shaking and her expression was back to slight amusement with that small grin.

“Looks like Pavlov has become quite taken with you,” Jack said as they got closer.

“He’s a really funny cat,” Matilda said. She had taken the ribbon out of her hair and trailed it behind her as Pavlov swatted at it.

Jenny had tried to make it seem like she wasn’t worried about what Jack had said to her, and Matilda looked up at her.

“We should probably head out soon if we are going to stop by the school,” Matilda put her ribbon back in her hair.

“I should also get going if I want to get started on prepping our first session,” Jack looked at her watch, “but I’m very glad you all got to visit and meet Pavlov.”

Jenny nodded, but didn’t say anything as she and Matilda made their way through the cottage. Jack closed the door after ushering Pavlov in, and walked to the front to see them out. As they were about to walk out, Jenny stopped and looked at the front door. On the back was a framed piece of paper with a handwritten poem on it that she couldn’t believe she missed when she looked around earlier.

>   
>  “Never and never, my girl riding far and near  
>  In the land of the hearthstone tales, and spelled asleep,  
>  Fear or believe that the wolf in the sheepwhite hood  
>  Loping and bleating roughly and blithely shall leap,  
>  My dear, my dear  
>  Out of the lair in the flocked leaves in the dew dipped year  
>  To eat your heart in the house in rosy wood.”
> 
> Dylan Thomas  
> 

Jack walked up to them and saw where Jenny was looking, “I suppose you know the poem.”

“Yes,” Jenny breathed.

“I figured as much. I found it while cleaning the cabinets before repainting. I thought it captured the feel of this place so well, I couldn’t throw it out,” Jack said. Jenny looked at Jack and a couple more lines from the poem came to mind.

_And prince of ice  
To court the honeyed heart from your side before sunrise_

“It’s a lovely poem,” Matilda agreed.

Jenny cleared her throat, “Thank you, Jack, for showing us around.”

“Of course,” Jack opened the door for them, “don’t be strangers. You two are more than welcome here.”

“Can we have some study sessions here?” Matilda asked.

“If you would like,” Jack said, then looked up at Jenny, “but that is also up to you.”

Jenny nodded, her mind still whirling, “Sure.”

Jack followed them out and retrieved her bike from the wall, “We can talk more about it next time.”

Jenny was sure she wasn’t addressing where they should hold their sessions. Especially when Jack looked back at her with that same vulnerable expression from the night they met. It was only there for a moment before disappearing behind that small grin. Jenny started to notice that the grin never made it to Jack’s eyes.

As they were about to go their separate ways, Jack mounted her bike and looked at Jenny one more time.

“It’s nice to know whose handwriting the poem belongs to,” Jack said before she made off for the coffee shop.

Jenny’s stomach didn’t know whether to have stones or butterflies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! If you know why I used that particular poem, kudos to you! Also, is it just me or is a black cat showing up seem familiar?
> 
> If you came here at Michelle's recommendation, thank you! She's been an awesome author to follow and has really helped me figure out a way to schedule out writing and a posting schedule, as well as just inspirational in how she works. If you are a fan of Dramione, I highly recommend any of her fics. She just finished a crack!fic that is completely bonkers and hilarious called "Here's the Deal." Her pen name is Lilian_Silver on here.
> 
> I'll see you all in two weeks!


	6. The Perfect Halo of Gold Hair and Lightning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song that goes with the next three chapters will be Snow Patrol's "The Lightning Strike", which is split into three parts. For this chapter, it's the first section.

Even after only a few weeks, Jenny could see that the sessions with Jack didn’t only help Matilda learn, but it also took her focus off the fact that her powers were gone. The feeling of the season’s change hung in the air as August began, and Jenny realized that she not only had school starting to worry about, but Matilda’s birthday as well. 

She found that it was easier to plan when Jack was there to occupy Matilda as she made calls to Lavender, Bruce, and Hortensia. It was decided that a nice tea party would be held at the Honey residence and that it would be a surprise for Matilda. Lavender said she wanted to help by inviting Matilda over after school while Jenny got the house ready.

Matilda never made a big deal about her birthday, but Jenny wanted to do something special. Last year, they celebrated by having an extra chocolate from the candy box and Jenny bought Matilda her own copy of _Oliver Twist_ which Matilda then used the rest of the day to read aloud to Jenny.

Jenny made a call to the coffee shop downtown and made sure to order a larger tin of English Breakfast tea, which is Matilda’s favorite. Now, she was staring down at a notepad trying to brainstorm pastries to go with the tea. She considered cake for a moment, but since Bruce was going to be there, she knew he hadn’t been a fan of it since the incident in the auditorium with Trunchbull. 

“You’re deep in thought,” a voice sounded across the table from Jenny and she looked up to find Jack braced against the chair.

“Where is Matilda?” Jenny asked, and she tried to pull the notepad out of sight. 

“She’s outside on the porch,” Jack answered, “she wanted a small break.”

Jenny looked at Jack in disbelief, “Matilda wanted a break from learning?”

Jack shuffled from foot to foot, “Okay, maybe I needed a break.”

Jenny smirked, “Don’t tell me she’s wearing you out, too!”

Jack’s stopped shuffling, a lopsided grin on her face, “Nah, just needed a moment is all. I think both of us had a bit of an overload when discussing the book we’re on. I’m starting to think that I’ll need to restructure once classes start back up for her, just so she isn’t overwhelmed.”

Jenny covered her face in her hands and groaned, “I still need to prepare for that myself.”

Jack pulled the chair out and sat down, “Need some help?”

Jenny put the notepad back on the table and rubbed at her temples, “Maybe, but not with school stuff...I’m trying to plan a surprise party for Matilda.”

“She did mention her birthday was coming up,” Jack said.

“Did she mention anything else?” Jenny asked, “I’m surprised she brought up her birthday at all.”

“She didn’t say much,” Jack rubbed her hands. Jenny noticed that her knuckles were healing and didn’t look as rough as they did weeks ago. 

“She doesn’t like big parties, but I thought a small tea party with her friends here would be nice to surprise her with,” Jenny tapped the pencil against the pad, “I have the tea, but I don’t know what to get for food.”

“I could make some scones up and bring them here to bake in the oven,” Jack suggested. “Not to invite myself to the party, and I would bake them myself, but the cottage…”

“Of course you are invited,” Jenny said. She let Jack’s sentence trail off. She knew that the kitchen was limited, even with electricity. There was a small wood stove, but nothing large enough to accompany a meal for more than one person, “You bake?”

“I can do a decent job in the kitchen when I have access to one,” Jack smirked, “at least, I would hope I know what I’m doing when I have all of those vegetables.”

“What did you have in mind for scones?” Jenny asked, and she jotted down the idea in her notes.

“What kind of tea did you get?” Jack asked animatedly. Jenny fought the smile at how excited Jack was to do this. She also tried to ignore the small ache in her chest that never seemed to leave after they visited the cottage. 

“English Breakfast,” Jenny replied, “Matilda likes it with milk, no sugar.”

“Cinnamon would go well,” Jack looked deep in thought, “I have a recipe in mind that I could make.”

Jenny looked up at Jack and sketched another note down, “I might have an idea where you could come here and make them.”

Jack looked hesitant, and she scratched the back of her head, “I wouldn’t want to intrude.”

“You wouldn’t be intruding if you are invited to the party,” Jenny gave Jack a puzzled look. “Just let me know what ingredients you need and I’ll have them here.”

Jack’s shoulders bunched up and she wouldn’t meet Jenny’s eyes, “I…I don’t know.”

Jenny realized that they never carried on the conversation they had at the cottage. She almost bristled at the fact that Jack pulled further away any time she got too close, but then remembered what Jack said.

_“I wish they would just disown me. It would make this all so much easier.”_

“Are your parents still giving you trouble?” Jenny asked.

Jack scoffed and leaned back, “They always give me trouble.”

Jenny cursed inwardly when she saw Jack physically pull further away from her. Jack was a difficult person to decipher socially. It wasn’t so much that Jenny felt she was on eggshells, but that there were pitfalls that changed shape and location. 

Jack watched from the corner of her eye as Jenny tried to figure out how to approach the conversation. She felt a little guilty for pulling away, but she slipped up again when she brought up how much her parents affected her to Jenny. She tried to dull out the ache in her chest that hung around after it. She made sure to wrap her hands well and wear gloves from now on when she took her punching bag out. She hasn’t gotten much sleep, but after an hour or so with the bag, she could wear herself out enough to sleep for a few hours. 

She at least stopped drinking coffee late. She instead took it in the mornings to wake her up as she desperately hit the snooze on her alarm clock too many times to count. Jack couldn’t help the habit of holding everyone at a distance, but maybe Matilda was onto something earlier.

But if her parents even caught wind of just her interest in Jenny…

It is such a difficult and frustrating existence to live when you desperately want to have someone and protect them at the same time. It was even worse when you knew that who you were trying to protect wanted the same just as desperately. 

Jack had tried to keep from giving in, but when Jenny looked like _that_. Like she herself did something wrong that pushed Jack away. Jack couldn’t keep doing this to her. 

“I’m sorry,” Jack’s shoulders sagged, “my parents are just a really sore subject. And I’m not the best at telling people about it. You would think with my studies that I would have an easier time with it, but...”

What could be the harm in just giving in a little? Holding back hasn’t done anything but cause a headache where Jenny was concerned. Maybe this could be different. Maybe her parents would give up when they found that she wasn’t going to listen to them anymore. Maybe, just maybe they would leave her in peace and she could live her life without their reputation coming in to hit her back into place. 

Maybe Matilda was right?

Jenny’s expression softened when she saw the turmoil flash across Jack’s face. 

“Were they really strict or were they…” Jenny’s voice caught on the word.

“They were never obvious about their abuse,” Jack’s tone was flat, emotionless, “it was always manipulation, emotional or pressuring me onto a specific path. They made sure it was never physical.”

Jenny waited patiently, and she definitely didn’t want to push this time. Things were starting to make more sense.

“They got angry when I decided to go into Psychology,” Jack continued after a brief moment. Her voice started to sound rough, like her mouth had gone dry, “They also tried to control who I was friends with, they always had professors on campus who kept a close eye on me, making sure I didn’t do anything that could tarnish their reputation. I would suggest someone in my situation to go see a therapist, but...”

Jack stopped and seemed to struggle to breathe for a moment, but managed to continue.

“I just wanted to get far enough away that I could just be myself,” Jack shook her head, “I already have to hide so much…”

Jenny slowly stood up and tentatively sat in a chair closer to Jack. She could see the tension in Jack’s forearms and her knuckles were white from her hands clasped together. Jenny reached a hand out, but thought better than to place it on Jack’s arm. Instead she placed it next to Jack’s hands and tried to catch Jack’s eye.

“What do you already have to hide?” Jenny asked quietly, and she saw the fear and frustration in Jack’s eyes. 

It was sudden. The tension in her arms seemed to immediately disappear, her right palm was flat on the table while the other clasped Jenny’s hand. Her shoulders squared in determination. 

But the fear and frustration were still in Jack’s eyes when she looked at Jenny. 

“I would think it’s a bit obvious,” Jack’s tone was almost humorous, but her eyes didn’t reflect the joke. 

“What would be obvious?” Jenny’s eyebrows furrowed.

“I don’t exactly give off heterosexual vibes,” Jack didn’t look at Jenny as she quietly said it. She found a thread on the tablecloth and started to fiddle with it, but she kept her other hand in Jenny’s. It seemed like her focus on revealing this made the pain she would usually feel when she touched someone insignificant.

_Interesting..._

Jenny tried to keep the elated feeling at bay that rose up at Jack’s confession. It was definitely not the time for that.

Jack was still fixated on the thread, “I don’t suppose you’re angry with me for withholding that. It’s not going to affect the work I do here, but I understand if you don’t want Matilda to be around someone like me.”

Jack knew she was rambling. She knew Jenny didn’t care that she was gay, considering that Jenny was, too. But one big secret reveal was all Jack had the energy for one day. 

She’d already revealed to Matilda that she wasn’t the only one with powers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! I may have to go on a brief hiatus. I have the next chapter written, but I haven't been able to dedicate time to writing like I wanted to even with the two week schedule. Midterms were last week for me and my brain took a bit of a beating. The next chapter will go up as scheduled, and after that I'm hoping I will have more written to begin posting again by Thanksgiving. Bear with me?


	7. What if this Storm Ends?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second part of "The Lightning Strike" by Snow Patrol goes with this chapter.

Jack couldn’t believe she had let it come to this. Matilda just looked at her shocked when she revealed it to her. They were in the living room in the chairs with an end table set between them. The book they were discussing, one of Agatha Christie’s books about Hercules Poirot, - Matilda’s suggestion when she found out that Jack was a fan of Sherlock Holmes - sat on the table.

“You can read minds?!” Matilda asked, and her copy of the book dropped in her lap.

Jack sighed and rubbed her face with her hands. She hadn’t told anyone about her ability before. It wasn’t like it slipped out or anything either. She had thought about this conversation since she accepted the offer to tutor Matilda. 

She just didn’t think it would be this soon.

“Jack?” Matilda asked.

“Yeah, I can,” Jack answered. “I have to have physical contact with them, but I can do it.”

Matilda was silent as she let it sink in, then she put her hand on the table between them.

“Prove it,” she said.

“I know you have powers, too,” Jack said. She didn’t reach and grab Matilda’s hand when she said it.

“How do I know Ms. Honey didn’t tell you about that?” Matilda asked.

“Why would Ms. Honey tell me a secret like that?” Jack asked, “I’ve only known you two for the past month and a half.”

Matilda frowned. She knew it wasn’t a good enough argument. Ms. Honey would never tell anyone about her powers, or the lack of them now. She was determined though.

Jack continued, “I also know that you were the one behind that terrible woman leaving town.”

Matilda shook her head, “Still not good enough. I want to see you actually use them.”

Jack’s shoulders sagged as she let out a deep breath, “Fine.”

Before she reached out and took Matilda’s hand, she leveled her gaze with Matilda’s.

“Think of a time that you never told Ms. Honey about, or she would know about,” Jack stated. 

Matilda thought through her memories for a moment before settling on one, “Okay.”

“Is it detailed?”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” Jack steeled herself for a moment, and then grabbed Matilda’s hand. 

Matilda saw how Jack winced when she grabbed her hand. A few seconds later and Jack gasped and let go. She rubbed at her right eye and temple for a moment.

“You were remembering one of those family dinners you talked about before. You were reading _Moby Dick_. Your dad was angry at you, but that was something you were used to. You blew up the TV just by looking at it,” Jack recalled.

Matilda’s jaw dropped, “Do you know what they were watching?”

“ _Million Dollar Sticky_ ,” Jack grimaced and then smirked, “Now I _really_ understand your dislike of television.”

Matilda giggled, and bounced in her seat, “So, how long have you been able to do that?”

“About as long as I can remember,” Jack responded, “it probably started when I was your age, but I can’t really remember. A lot of my childhood is fuzzy.”

Jack tried to breathe through the spikes of pain that was throbbing behind her eye.

“Does anyone else know you can do that?” Matilda asked.

“No,” Jack said, “you’re the first person I’ve ever told.”

Matilda’s eyebrows shot up, “Really?”

“Really,” Jack answered, “I haven’t been able to trust anyone to believe me until now.”

“But you could have done what we just did to prove it,” Matilda said.

“Yeah, but…” Jack paused, “it tends to...hurt, when I use them.”

The wince and gasping from earlier started to make more sense to Matilda. 

“Is it just one eye or both?” she asked.

“Just my right eye, kinda behind it,” Jack answered slowly, she was unsure of where Matilda was going with her questions, “almost like I’m getting an ice spike through the temple.”

“My eyes used to get hot when I would focus on moving something with my mind,” Matilda said.

Jack leaned forward towards Matilda, “ _Used to_?”

Matilda looked down at her hands and fidgeted for a moment.

The memory Jack saw when she first came over to meet Matilda of Jenny comforting her in the kitchen swam into her mind’s view. She was able to piece things together from there.

“They’re gone, aren’t they?” Jack asked softly.

Matilda nodded, she didn’t want to cry in front of Jack, but that didn’t stop the tears.

“Hey,” Jack got up and moved to the side of the chair Matilda sat in. Jack placed a hand on the arm of the chair as a show of comfort, “they could come back.”

“How do you know?” Matilda whispered, “Have your powers ever gone away?”

“Well, no,” Jack said, “but I wonder if it’s because I wish they would go away.”

Matilda wiped at the tears that rolled down her cheeks and sniffed, “What do you mean?”

“I mean, think about it: your powers came about during a time when you felt powerless. Now, your life is in a place where you aren’t powerless,” Jack explained, “I would imagine that since you weren’t born with those abilities, they arose because you had a need for them. Now, you don’t need them as much, but you try so hard to keep them around that maybe you’ve exhausted the source of them.”

Matilda listened intently as Jack continued to explain.

“In my case, I’ve tried all that I could to not use my powers and be in a place where I don’t have to rely on them. I’ve done all that I could to make them go away, but they won’t,” Jack took in a shaky breath, “I could be wrong about all of this, but it seems like the abilities we are given have more purpose than we could imagine.”

Matilda let that sink in and then nodded, “So, you think my powers aren’t gone forever?”

“By my guess, I would say they are dormant,” Jack said. “It could be something that flares back up in a time of absolute need. While I am not a fan of my ability, I can say that it’s gotten me out of some situations that could have gotten worse had I not known how to react.”

“Plus, the fact that your parents are still looming over you, it’s probably difficult to feel safe and secure,” Matilda reasoned.

Jack sighed and rocked back on her heels from the crouched position she was in, “You’re not wrong there.”

They both looked at one another and Jack patted the couch arm before she stood up and went to her chair.

“Is that why you went into Psychology?” Matilda asked, “Since you could read minds, you could have an easier time helping people out, right?”

“Well, yes and no,” Jack said, “I wanted to be able to help people without resorting to reading their minds. Psychology and being a therapist requires a lot of trust. How would you feel if you trusted me with the truth and then found out I could have accessed it at any time anyway?”

Matilda thought about it, “I would feel like you couldn’t trust me to tell the truth, or I couldn’t trust you to not use that ability on me if I didn’t feel right telling you something immediately.”

Jack nodded, “That’s part of it. I also don’t want people to feel like I’m going to violate their right to privacy anytime they come near me. Which there’s usually a decent physical distance when it comes to therapy.”

Matilda nodded, “I can see why that would appeal to you, but don’t you let anyone close? It has to be maddening to not be able to hug your friends or anyone.”

“I can brace for the pain when I initiate contact,” Jack started, “but usually when people get close, they almost can’t help themselves from falling into a habit of making physical contact with me when they get close. I have to be on guard for that all the time, and that doesn’t really allow for people to get close.”

Matilda frowned, “That sounds like a really lonely life.”

“I make do,” Jack shrugged, “I’ve found that my power doesn’t work on animals, so I can cuddle with Pavlov when he isn’t being a drooly mess.”

“What if your ability hurts to use so much because you don’t use it as often as you should or could?” Matilda asked, “Maybe it’s like a weak muscle?”

Jack sat back in her chair and thought about it, “I never thought about that…”

Matilda leaned forward, “You could always try it out with someone who you would like to get closer to?”

Jack narrowed her eyes at Matilda, “You’re up to something.”

“No,” Matilda said innocently, “just trying to help.”

“Mmhmm,” Jack responded, “do I have to remind you that it takes just one poke to know if you’re lying or not?”

“You wouldn’t!” Matilda cried out with a grin.

They both stared each other down before Jack relented.

“You’re right, I wouldn’t,” Jack sighed.

“But, I’m just saying,” Matilda shrugged nonchalantly, “I might know someone who wants to get closer to you.”

Jack crossed her arms and quirked her usual smile, “Oh, really?”

“Yes,” Matilda continued, “I also happen to notice that you get really blushy around this someone almost as much as she gets blushy around you.”

“Am I that obvious?” Jack pretended to whine.

“To me? Yes,” Matilda said, “To Ms. Honey? Uh-uh.”

“I guess I have the advantage there of knowing how she feels, huh?” Jack asked.

“Yes, I would say so,” Matilda answered.

“I don’t know,” Jack said, “a lot could go wrong here, and the fact that I’m taking dating advice from a young, albeit brilliant, kid? Not really boding well for me.”

“Then take it as advice on how to research your own powers from a kid who had powers herself,” Matilda crossed her arms and smugly nodded as she made her point. 

Jack covered her face with her hands. She was only entertaining the thoughts with Matilda, with no intention to follow through with them, but now that she made that point it made Jack want to give it a try.

She could at least tell herself that research was the reason she wanted to try. Not because she wanted to let Jenny in as close as she could get. 

She tried her way of things for long enough, she could try and let one person get that close, right?

Jack’s stomach only flipped in response as she tried to figure out if weathering the storm was a good idea. Or if she wanted the storm to end at all. 

No way to know unless she tried. And Jack was one to try new things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading and leaving lovely comments and the kudos! You all the best.
> 
> From here on out, the story is in a hiatus until either the end of November or beginning of December. I am sorry that this is a much slower burn of a story than some of you may have anticipated, but it didn't feel right to have them jump into a relationship immediately, especially with each of their personal trauma.
> 
> Bear with me though, this will get tooth-rottingly cute.


End file.
